RANDOM STUFF: HAIRY MOLE HAIRY MOLE HAIRY MOLE

I had an encounter with a man with a hairy mole the other day.

"Hi!" he introduced himself to me, "my name is REDACTED CENSORED. Nice to meet you."

HAIRY MOLE was all I heard and all I could see.

He shook my hand. Inside I was screaming.

For the course of the next hour, I tried to focus. This behaviour, I told myself, is completely unacceptable. There are things which are important and things which are not important. Was I even sure it WAS a hairy mole? Maybe it was just some fuzz, or even leftover food which had somehow found its way there. Let's just have a quick look...

AIEEE. It really is a hairy mole. I bit my lip to the point where I nearly swallowed my face and looked away.

Because. Look. Now here's the thing. I'm not giving you the full picture. This wasn't just a mole with a few hairs sticking out. It was a full-on sticky-out wart with a lot of spiky white fuzz on it. Like a mushroom with teeth or a little dude with a grey beard. It actually looked a lot like Rolf Harris in "Animal Hospital" only much smaller and stuck to this guy's face.

And why was it spiky??? Did it get TRIMMED? Did this guy run his Gilette Quattro over it every two to three days and what I was seeing was re-growth? Aaaaagh! I looked at it again!

I admit it. I'm a horrible person unable to see the human being behind the hairy mole. And as I grow older, who is to say that there won't be a hairy mole of my own lurking in the future? Will I one day disturb colleagues and frighten children by growing some malformed second nose in the middle of my forehead? We are none of us immune to the mole, so don't get complacent.

I know, I know. I know all of this but still, HAIRY MOLE HAIRY MOLE HAIRY MOLE.

I'm appalled at myself.