Caro asked me to download an album by hip-hop duo Macklemore & Ryan Lewis after seeing them perform their song “Same Love” on The Colbert Report. I have been listening to them all week. Their song “Can’t Hold Us” is brilliant for walking to. It has this stomping beat that propels me along at top speed and can get me into work in just 20 minutes. Although I do have to have a soothing cup of tea and a sit-down after.
I suppose that sums up my problem with modern music. I may like it but suspect I am no longer built for it. Am I even allowed to like it? Will this ruin it for the young people it is really aimed at? Am I rubbish by even saying I like a Macklemore & Lewis “song” or should I say, “My goodness! Macklemore & Lewis certainly did drop some sick beats on me this morning! They are so dope I have to have a cup of tea, yo.”
I remember my parents telling me they liked Blondie and The Police. And, though I am ashamed of saying this, it put me off Debbie Harry and Sting a little bit. Things your parents like can’t possibly be cool. I suspect we have all been through this. I am still emotionally scarred by my mum’s 40th birthday party when all my parents' mates got down to “I Should Have Known Better” by Jim Diamond which was number one at the time. To this DAY I can’t hear that song without picturing a rowdy gang of parents singing “I yi-yi-yi, yi-yi-yi, looooooooooOOOOOOve yooooooo!!” SCARRED, I say.
So I hope my nieces aren’t too traumatised by the fact that I have discovered Pink.
It is not my fault. It is the fault of tv show “The Voice US”, wherein judge Usher KEEPS CHOOSING PINK SONGS for groovy little Michelle Chamuel to sing. And I’ll hear one and I’ll think, “That’s a lovely tune that is. A real foot-tapper. Something you can really hum.” And when I go to download it, and it turns out to be yet another song written by Pink. Do I have the musical taste of a 13 year old girl?
It seems selfish of me to have even the slightest interest in modern music. It is much more fair if I back away from it and let the young people have their own language and their own culture. To leave me clueless on the sidelines, while they roll their eyes and laugh at me and feel superior. I think you need that when you’re younger, because you’ve got sod all else for yourselves – especially now that my generation has stuffed up the economy. Sorry about that. Hope you don’t mind making a contribution to my pension in 20 years time ha ha ha. No, but seriously.
So from now on, I’ll keep my musical taste to myself. And if I ever find myself tapping my foot along to the Black Eyed Peas, I’ll pretend it’s just wind or early-onset dementia or something. For official purposes, if anyone wants to know my favourite singers, they are “Max Bygraves” and “Des O’Connor”. Never heard of them, young people? Good.
From here on I promise that I will neverbe neverbe anything but wrong in all the right ways. Maybe.
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